Sexually Stoic
by Light as Air
Summary: Someone wants sex with Sten. That someone is going to have to try very hard, because Mr. Bulky just won't budge! But is what she wants all in jest? Would he ever give in either way? Reviews please.
1. Sexually Tempting

"So you and I...?"

"..."

"You look so stressed lately Sten. Keeping that composed look in place for so long."

"What are you suggesting?"

"Oh you know. Maybe there could be someone or something to relieve your tension."

"Your tounge ceasing?"

"Oh but I cannot offer to relieve you of your stress if I stopped speaking."

"No."

"So you agree? Why not let me show you the pleasure you have been missing all these years?"

"Why do you persist in annoying me?"

"Oh. To be annoyed at the offer of sex from someone such as myself.I am surprised."

"You shouldn't be."

"Why not?"

"This conversation ends. Now!"

"Oh. A pity."

-

"So... Sten? If we were to ever-"

"No."

"I know some oils perfect for relieving stress from such a big man like-"

"Do you always talk so much?"

"Do you always talk so little?"

"Why do you persist in this?"

"Oh I don't know. I am so curious as to what sex would be like with someone as big as yourself."

"You would-"

"You know. You might even have something bigger than average down-"

"..."

-

"So no...?"

"No to what?"

"Sex?"

"I have thought I made myself clear."

"You are so boring Sten! You don't even try to hire a whore at the Pearl to relieve-"

"As to our mission at present I do not need such distractions. Neither do you."

"Oh but I like a distraction. Especially those lifeless eyes of-"

"Perhaps if I cease speaking you will shut up."

"Don't count on it."

-

"So where do your eyes linger?"

"Hum?"

"What body parts do you often look upon?"

"I do not waste my time-"

"There must be something you like to look upon."

"No."

"Nothing on my body is pleasing to you?"

"No."

"Oh that's too bad. Perhaps I could have tempted you."

"Don't count on it."

-

"At which sex do you find yourself looking most at?"

"Excuse me?"

"Oh you know. Sex. Gender. You know what a penis and vegina is don't you?"

"Disgusting - I-"

"Oh come now. Which gender do you prefer?"

"Neither."

"Hum?"

"Neither."

"How the-?"


	2. A Little Effort Goes A Long Way

"You know. You have such an handsome figure." The Warden was thinking out loud. When she noticed Sten briefly turning his annoyed gaze upon hers, quickly flicking them away. She spoke directly to him. It might have been just to annoy him. "I wonder what your muscles look like beneath that armor. Oh you don't look at me or talk much now. But if I were to-"

"Your frequent attempt to get me into your bed will frequently fail Vashedan." Sten warned her. As they walked together he didn't so much as pay her consious glance. The dog who walked on the other side of the Warden frowned. He thought his mistress has lost a few marbles.

The lips on her face, the eyes in her skull formed a playful smirked expression. She drew nearer him and fell into his pace, copied his walk.

"How will it? You are unlike most men you know. You seem to lack an perverted mind." She noted. She scanned his body as she explained. Her curious and overactive imagination was getting the better of her.

"Which is something you have attained through life."

"I have a perverted mind?" When she looked up at him her eyebrows rose.

"Fool. Of course you have a perverted mind."

She seemed to come to some sort of assumption. Her eyes glowed. "So having dreams about us and what your sexual pro-" She might have jested.

"-is very disturbing and disgusting." He paused. He stopped for a moment to think out loud to himself. "Even if I were to have interest in such a little thing such as you-" He wondered. He looked at her. When she stopped with him he frowned when she spoke.

"Oh. You admit your hidden sexual fancy for me?" She perhaps feigned a gleeful tone. Her hands clapped together a few times. And then she clutched her heart. "Why I never-"

"You are a buffoon." Sten sighed after he shook his head.

"Hum. And you are confusing." She admitted quietly to herself after he started walking.

-

"I see someone wants to practice with your loins." Zevran noted. He waited for some sort of knowing reaction from the giant and he recieved none. He pouted towards the man sitting across the fire from him.

The Warden who wasn't Alistair seeing as her gender was the opposite, was far off to the side away from the campfire her companions who all ate together. Sometimes some of them watched her as she batted at invisable monsters with her deadly stick. She was so focused on the imaginary form or monster she was attacking that she wasn't listening to the conversation.

The sky and the moon was hidden by the clouds. There were a few stars sometimes seen if you looked, if a cloud was moving away. But mostly the sky was dark and cloudy. The air was somewhat humid after it had just rained an hour or so ago. The grass was soaked. And yet their leader was happily enjoying her insanity.

Lelianna was humming a tone to herself next to Zevran. She also sometimes watched and giggled at her leader's antics. Alistair was glaring at Zevran. Sten who sat across from the elf wasn't paying attention, he was merely eating the dinner their leader made for everyone. He had no opinion on the food however. Morrigan was so amused by Zevran's comment that she was tempted to speak. The dog sat by Sten and he was frowning at what Zevran commented on.

"Could that someone be you Zevran?" Morrigan was malicious with her words which the elf took in stride. He merely smiled in return, sarcasm in his eyes. "I am surprised you are so interested in men."

"Oh sometimes I am. If the pay is right." He agreed. "But I was talking about someone else."

"Ooh. Wait... why are we... why are you discussing this while we eat?" Alistair was frowning. Morrigan commented on his blushing cheeks. He glared at him. Sten made no comment.  
Wynne who was sitting around the fire with the other companions merely sighed loudly. "I hardly think the Warden wishes for sexual relations with Sten. She is possibly only wanting to amuse herself." She admitted.

Zevran on the other hand was not convinced. "Oh just the other day I remember the Warden commenting with some curiousity about the size of Sten's-" He paused to let the other companions speak.

"Oh no. It cannot be that you are jealous Zevran? You wish to share the bed of someone who doesn't do you? Someone interested in big-" Morrigan taunted him.

"I am only curious as to why she would be. Such a big manhood she would have to practice with." Zevran playfully defended himself.

"You are both disgusting." Alistair and Wynne scolded. This was only because Alistair was blushing deeply.

"I think it's cute. If she does have a crush on Sten that is-" She mentioned her opinion softly.

"I think it's annoying. And it's further distracting her from her purpose."

"Oh? If you think you are so distracting Sten, you could leave. Then that would leave me open to distract her all I wish. And I might even get the chance to-" Zevran was interupted by Sten.

"You are a disgusting elf. I hardly think she would be interested in such a thing."

"Why do you care?" The elf replied. But Sten had left just when he asked.

When Sten reached the Warden she stopped fencing with her stick and looked up at Sten curiously. She smiled lightly when he glared down at her. "Your attempts at practicing fighting are futile." He lectured. "An real target is better than an imaginary one."

"Oh? Would you be willing to replace my imaginary one?" She wondered.

"If it will stop you from looking like a prancing fool." Even though he continued to insult her she seemed very pleased with the idea.

"Oh goodie! So I get to practice finally having sex with you? I am so-"

"-disgusting fool. I was going to suggest being your sparing partner. But if you insist on being a-"

"-no, no! Sparing partner good oh so serious one. Though it's kind of hard to fight a giant with a stick."


End file.
